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Online Condom Store selling all brands and styles of condoms, great service, low prices, fast and discreet delivery. We made plans to have dinner on the weekend which was only a few days after we started talking. the day of the date I text him in the morning to suggest a restaurant. He responds that he may have to reschedule because he needs to go somewhere.
Says he will let me know for timing. he texts mid-day and mentions he is visiting his mother about 90 minutes away. I text him around 5 to say we should clearly reschedule. He agreed. Bad taste in my mouth but he called that night and apologized and we rescheduled. The entire next week went by slowly but we consistently chatted on his rides home from work.. For those of you not in the dating game, this is the norm.
When you meet and exchange numbers there is always some sort of daily outreach. Part of getting to know someone is the mindless banter of our boring lives. Fun, right? Cute the first time but lame after the next 15 times. For those of you just tuning in, I am in my mids. If I were 28 I would definitely say all the cutesy things that people say when they have high hopes and rose-colored glasses on about a person they know nothing about.
I know better. But men are immature no matter what age they are, so of course he is going to get flirty and sexual - their balls are bigger than their brain cells, quite simply. One night David and I are on the phone and he says we should play a game and list our 3 greatest strengths and weaknesses pertaining to our personality. Ok fun, I love stuff like this. I name mine, and yes, I had a lot of trouble thinking up weaknesses. I mean what a list! Thanks for the honesty but the red-flag-o-meter just exploded.
I was pretty surprised to hear some of these because from our conversations he seemed very emotionally mature, caring, and generous. But for someone to be self-aware enough to list those items, they must have some truth to them. Fast forward again to the night before the date and he calls me on his way home from a stag party, definitely a little drunk. His reply was that I was weird but he respected it.
I was really clear with him. Call ended with him in bed slurring his words and talking about how much he wished I was in bed with him because he wanted to hold me and smell me. Yes, smell me. I have no words for that one but you can take all the whiffs you want after we go on a date, just be patient.
The very next morning, the day of the date, and I wake up and see he had texted me around 7am. Early for a Saturday morning. I text him back when I wake up and mention how he was up so early. Not even 12 hours after we had a conversation about all of this, David heeds no caution.
I think he forgot that one of his weaknesses was crossing boundaries. I reply matter of factly and wish him good luck or something of that nature. I am SHOOK. I am processing the fact that this is happening the morning of the day we are supposed to meet after a week of talking. I am so fucking pissed. Where is the fairytale? Where are the gentlemen? Where are the decent men? Where are the adults? I remember something I was told about dating.
People are their best selves in the beginning. They are, err, they should be trying to impress you - it will NEVER get better then the beginning when they are at their best. I text my friend who, along with her hairdresser, set us up.
I was upset. But I was excited to go out with someone who had a zest for life, was successful, had goals and aspirations, was independent, and enjoyed many of the same things I did. I could manifest my own destiny and meet the right person! Well, not this time. Back to pessimism we go. All day I was torn. I was reaching out to my friends, girls and guys, to see what people thought.
All the guys told me NOT to go, the girls said just go and chalk it up to a mistake and see what happens. Funny how we are programmed as women to give men chance after chance. Such bullshit. David texts and asks if we are still on for the date. I ask him if I was clear with him about my feelings on not getting sexual before the first date.
My stomach was in knots all day - which was my intuition, telling me not to go on the date. But what do I do? I go on the date. I meet him for dinner. It was decent conversation and he was on his best behavior.
After dinner we have a drink at the bar behind plexiglass of course and he brings up what happened that morning. Not a defense. Makes it all worse honestly.
He then pulls out his phone and proceeds to do what all men do - talk about himself. He shows me photos of his last boat, photos of his buddies boat, photos of the fish he caught off the coast of Montauk, and then video after video of body cam footage.
Good god, all men are the exact same. We call it a night and he tells me to tell him the next time we should go out. The next few days go by and we are still chatting here and there, still more talks of cuddling but with less excitement. Less phone calls.
The usual. Did you already forget what I look like? David was trying less than he even was before. We discuss going out again but briefly. I was even the one to bring it up. Against my better judgement I was actually going to give him another chance. I never said I always make the right decisions. I have no interest in just being phone pals - even those phone calls became boring. He calls me on Friday and mentions how his cousin and his fiancé and baby were on their way for the weekend.
I then remembered him mentioning they were coming but he never mentioned it again, even when we discussed making plans for this very same weekend. Is he senile? Is he lying? The next morning, which was a Saturday and also Halloween, I wake up to a text from him from the night before asking me what I was up to.
I reply and say good morning and told him I was fast asleep when he texted me the night before.. Later in the day around pm, I text him and ask what they were all up to. No reply. Makes sense. Oh did I mention he has read receipts on? Gift and a curse. He never replies to the first text so naturally I text again around just to say Happy Halloween. Did he not see my text? It says he read it but we all see texts and forget to reply sometimes. I go to bed and wake up on Sunday morning and still no reply.
He read the late text too. I WAS GHOSTED ON HALLOWEEN BY A GUY I WAS NEVER INTO WHO PLEADED WITH ME TO HELP HIM JERK OFF. HOW MANY MIRRORS HAVE I BROKEN? OF COURSE this is how this ends. I go against my better judgement and I get ghosted. On Halloween. How festive! Just a day after he made it a point to ask me to hang out again and to say he would be in contact.
What could have happened? This was set up by two people who knew us. By ghosting the person for no apparent reason? He went from cuddling to cumming to ghosting. Men are really something. I am so excited to share a new MALE guest blog feature below from a good friend of mine!
It is an allegorical dichotomy that poignantly describes the battlefield of the modern dating environment. A condom, as protection reserved for those of highest affection, and pepper spray, for the ultimate creeps.
The title and contents of this blog illustrate the tragedy of these tools kept together in a purse as close as kin - a symbol of the oft delicate and thin line that separates a woman from heartache and love.
Indeed, a true artistic and courageous masterpiece by the author. The reason is simply because women are terrible. I kid. Rather, her natural humble disposition resulted in me discovering her talents organically, and that was something truly authentic…or dare I say, romantic.
She never acted like she was above me, even though in this circumstance she really was. Her humility showed me that she genuinely liked me for who I was.
It is an aspect thoroughly lacking in our interactions these days. And I believe one reason for that, and ultimately the sad state of my dating experience, is a rise in what is the opposite of humility — that is, entitlement attitude.
Intimacy and relationships are no longer bourn of inexplicable serendipity, by chance, or by sparks generated in the produce aisle of a local grocery store.
Instead, we increasingly meet on the digital battleground of dating apps. Men, in futile attempts to break these barriers, use their own primitive arsenal. They are vain, limp tools used by the modern man at attempts for generating any form of connection with a woman. And no, there is no further allegorical meaning to the title beyond that.
Yea, so Apple Pay. Or more commonly, Venmo. At one point it was truly shocking to see how many girls filled their dating app profiles with descriptions of themselves and what they are looking for, only to unabashedly punctuate the end of their paragraph with their Venmo account username. It is sad both for the girls who believe they are entitled to this form of validation by way of existing and for the pathetic men who feed into it and perpetuate the cycle narcissism.
While brazenly advertised Venmo accounts in dating profiles is getting on the extreme ends of entitlement, the attitude still seems to permeate a lot of the women I meet in more subtle ways. No matter how attracted I was to these girls prior to the bill stage, they never get a call for round 2.
So now, I screen for humility. And in the case that entitlement attitude is evident from the get-go, I have some fun and I troll:. Stacy over here reserved an entire one of those prompts exclusively for her Venmo information. So when we matched I put her to my trolling test. And even when my sarcasm reached its highest peak through the employment of a hashtag blessed , she took this entire interaction as genuine. But all I was doing was purposefully sinking to her level of superficiality.
I like to fantasize that she showed the convo to her friends and they made her realize that she got trolled like a fool as her face turned red in embarrassment. Why did I let this literal prince charming get away from me by begging for change like a hobo! I am devastated. But in reality I was probably just a blip in her day. Most likely she eventually came to the realization herself after refreshing her Venmo app a few times to no avail.
In any case I noticed a couple days later that she removed her Venmo account from her profile. Maybe she was humbled that day. Whether I was any influence on that is unknown.
The worst case scenario is the possibility that she was an even bigger troll than me, and I passed on someone with a fantastic sense of sarcastic banter.
And here we end up in the cynical circus that is modern day online dating for our generation. From reading this blog, the void of humility and genuine character on the part of men is on full display, and from me, an example of how severe entitlement manifests in women. Boys arm themselves superficial weapons like dick pics and Apple Pay while girls blindly fumble around their purses for protection, hopelessly deliberating whether to grab the condom or the pepper spray.
How did we get here as a society? When did things become so… fucked? Bon appetite. His daughter facetimed him during the date and demanded to know where he was so he hung up on her.
Left his mask around his neck the entire date which made him look like a dog with a bandana on. Said he would never travel out of the country because it is unsafe.
So yea, things are going well! My next post will be about the two guys who I cancelled on just based on their texting pre-date. I have decided that dads are no longer in the cards for me so they are officially cancelled. I have also lowered my age range and raised it at the same time. Hoping this allows for guys who have never been married and have no kids as well as successful older men who want to and can afford to travel the world and really live life.
One thing I have experienced while being back on the apps is seeing some of the guys I have gone out with in the past. I heard from the guy I went out with a year ago, the star of this blog post and then t his follow up post. He not only texted me a month ago but he has the nerve to send a like on hinge.
Then the guy from this blog that I went out with in March sent me a like as well. Then this idiot dad who I never even met sent me a hinge message asking me how I am.
In early March I went out with a guy on a lunch date during the week. I thought we had a great time but never heard from him again. I thought I wrote a blog about this guy but I guess not! He later unmatched me and I never saw him again. Just recently I saw him on bumble and decided to swipe right. We matched and I said hello. We started chatting and our banter was great.
He is a great texter and pretty funny, too. He gave me his number and we decided to start texting. We talked for about a week and I mentioned meeting up again. Finding a good time was difficult because he works a lot of third shifts. I really felt very comfortable with him when we met back in March, as well as while we were texting, so I actually threw out the idea of having him over my house for date 2 to watch football.
I admit I was in the mood to be a little more intimate versus the basic sit across from someone and banter about the pandemic dates that I have been going on. Like I said, I felt a comfort with this guy so I was okay with it. The night of the date came and I met him outside.
He got me a 12 pack of white claws and we went inside and sat on my couch and started talking. We ended up chatting all night and had really good conversation. He references future hang outs, too. It is worth mentioning that I told my Dad I was going on a date to a restaurant down the street with a guy I had met before.
He and I are close so he always wants me to call him after the date to make sure I am okay and I like calling him after to tell him how it was and how stupid these guys are. My Dad and I also usually text or call to say goodnight. My dad replied and said OK. I would tell him in the morning how things went. More time went by and we were still just chatting away talking about every topic under the sun. Yes, he was nice. He was just another guy.
So that is pretty telling as well. I was having fun though! At about midnight, we hear a noise. I thought it was the neighbor but I realized it was my screen door opening. Then I heard a knock at the door. I looked at the guy with my eyes wide, wondering if someone was breaking in.
Was someone drunk and at the wrong house? Who could it be?? Then I grabbed my phone next to me which had been on silent and upside down. I go to the door and there he is. My Dad is at my house at midnight while I have my date over!!!!!!
I quickly walk outside. He never barged in. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was nervous because I stopped answering.
I walked back inside and apologized. Apparently my Dad could not read between the lines. Obviously I needed to be VERY clear. I explained to the guy that my Dad and I are very close and he has never done that before and I was really sorry about that.
We hugged and he left. I texted him a little white after he left to thank him for driving all this way and tell him that I had a good time. He said the same and I cried myself to sleep because I was MORTIFIED.
I would never see this guy again. I talked to my Dad in the morning who apologized and asked if I heard from the guy. The guy ended up texting around 10am the next day to thank me again for a nice night. I was pretty surprised. We chatted a bit but that was it. So did he want to hook up?!! I told him I was surprised to hear that since he was such a choir boy two nights earlier.
He replied with a GIF as men like to do since they hate to use their words. The next day or two we chatted a bit but then it sort of slowly died out. Spoke to him Saturday and that was it.
I am clearly very powerful. We are out of quarantine and back into the dating scene!!! It has been maybe 3 weeks since I have been back in the depths of the dating apps and we are 2 dates and 3 very awkward phone calls down. I have 2 more dates this weekend so I am going to do a wrap up of everything on Sunday.
While we were all quarantining and managing our new normal, I took a break from the blogging. But I am back and better than ever! I think it is safe to say that we all faced challenges during strict lockdown.
I am pretty sure I heard that phrase no less than times. I think the best part about slowly coming out of quarantine is that there are finally other things to talk about besides the coronavirus. I was on the apps for a bit during quarantine and started talking to a single dad. The very first time he called me, he started telling me how horrible his ex-wife was and that was all I needed to hear.
Custody battles? No thank you! There is NO time to get involved with that. I was truthful and I told him straight up that I had no interest in getting involved with someone who has all those existing issues. After that guy, I decided to get off the apps and focus on other things. I have already been through two MORE divorced dads since last week!
The apps are now deleted again haha. One of the guys I started talking to was one of the divorced dads that I spoke with. We talked on the phone one night for two hours after texting on and off for about a week. He seemed like a nice, normal guy - very in tune with his emotions.
Seemed mature. Then two days later he texted me to tell me that his daughter was in a terrible mood. Experience this for yourself:. There is no greater turn off than a father who cannot, who refuses, to connect to their children emotionally. Are you kidding me?
I was disgusted. However, during that two hour phone call, he told me that the kids primarily live with him. During the school year and before covid, they were with him all week and only saw their mom on the weekends. I am pretty sure I am DONE with divorced dads. I cannot even fathom talking to even one more.
A friend of mine set me up with a male coworker. Also - yup, you guessed it - a divorced dad. What does that even mean? Just decide if you are going to dedicate time to dating or not. What a time to be alive! I have had zero human body contact in weeks. That may not sound that bad to those of you quarantined with your lovers, friends, or family - but it takes a toll. I find myself having conversations with myself and having WAY too much time to think about things.
There are a lot of phone calls, texts, facetimes, and zoom happy hours but all the friend contact is just making me more annoyed with all of my friends PMS perhaps. It is peaceful being alone but not all day and all night, each and every day. With the amount of friends I have, I do not have a desire to be on the apps chatting up and Facetiming first dates.
I paused all my dating apps and I am just taking this time to self-reflect, do some DIY, and simply relax. By now, I think we all have some sort of a covid connection. We either know someone who has it or someone who works the front lines dealing with this pandemic. Well guess what ladies and gents - I have a dating covid connection! Anyways, he has the virus! He actually has it! He said his ex wife has been dropping off food and being really helpful.
Of all people…Chad! I was just searching through my screenshots in my phone and I am so behind on sharing more stories. People are jealous of our solitude! In addition, they will also be organized by guys with recurring stories so you can easily stay up to date on your favorite jerk! Click on the index tab and easily click on any blog you want, without having to arrow back pages and pages to find a previous post.
Of course men are still trying to date during a global pandemic - does anything stop them? So what have I been up to? Mostly just going out on dates with men who are more like children. I spent the whole lunch teaching him how to use a crockpot and google recipes that are easy and healthy.
Check please, I am not your mother! I went on a last minute date with a guy I matched with just the day before. Um absolutely not. I am not walking a trail with you so that I can run the risk of someone popping out of the woods and the two of them dragging me into some sort of sex-fueled human trafficking ring.
His alternative was getting dinner that night. I said sure. We met at and I DID NOT WANT TO GO. I was in a major mood and I was literally crying while pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. I am not one to cancel and I love free dinners so I just pulled myself together and decided to go and have a good time. I went into the restaurant and realized they were fully packed so I messaged him and said we needed to go somewhere else. He had just parked so I walked over to meet him and decide on a new spot.
I suggested a place down the street and he asked if we wanted to drive together. I said absolutely not. Get in a strangers car?! We finally found a spot down the street and there was ONE table left. We ordered dinner but no drinks. I am still sober-January-ing yea I know its March but I kept it going and he was on antibiotics.
I told him he could drink especially since he was on his last day of the meds but he refused. I could have been talked into having a cocktail but clearly he preferred being a nerd and following doctors orders.
Live a little! Not drinking on antibiotics is a suggestion not a rule, right? Right off the bat we started talking about dating and the online sites. I HATE TALKING ABOUT THIS ON DATES. Clearly not well if I am out here with you, buddy. We are sitting across from each other for a reason. So then the topic finally changes, and he started talking about his dog and how she tends to be a cock block when he has girls over.
He started telling me about his hook ups. He had strong feelings that as long as the rules are established, a friends-with-benefits relationship is a wonderful thing.
I clearly and specifically said on my profile that I am looking for a relationship and when I asked him on the app what he was looking for, he said the same. He was now singing a different tune.
I told him I agreed that FWB is a great thing and something I was looking for a year or two ago. I said once again that I was looking for someone to date and in no way, shape, or form - was I looking for a one night stand.
I told him to order an entree without the cheese and he said he REFUSED to do that. For those of you who actually know me personally and have been out to eat with me…I knew right away this would never work.
I will fast forward to the end of the date when we were driving back to the first spot where his car was parked. Um okay. Or maybe not. As you can see I told him that inviting people back to my place is not my thing and not something I would ever do. The end of the date was sparse of conversation and we really ran out of things to say. I told him that I think a level of intimacy is needed in order to want to have sex. Either that or you need to be insanely good looking or sexy.
Guys think that they can sit across from you and we can talk about mundane topics and women will immediately want to rip their clothes off. There has to be flirtation! One person has to get the ball rolling or there needs to be some level of chemistry to end up wanted to hook up. Am I crazy? Am I getting old? The fact that this guy thought I would want to kiss him or invite him over after we just spent an hour talking about his hook ups and his dairy allergy just blows my mind.
A few days went by with very little interaction. We started chatting and I told him that despite what he said, I do believe he is primarily looking for sex, FWB, a hook up - one of those, at least.
Are your eyes rolling in the back of your head, too? I think something I really try to focus on is how I come across during dates. It is something I never used to think about. I am a confident extroverted person who can easily socialize and talk to anyone. I am just like my dad, I will literally make conversation with ANYONE. But during dates especially, I want to make sure I am a thoughtful listener, a confident woman, and a fun and free spirit.
If I had to guess I would bet he is quarantining ALONE these days! Okay - guy number three in the series of the week of three first dates. Are you ready for it? Rhett and I went out our first date at a casual bar where they were starting up trivia as soon as we got there. Being that I know a little bit about a lot, trivia is my fav.
I told him we were playing - what better way than to find out how stupid or surprisingly smart this guy was. I knew what his voice sounded like because we actually spoke on the phone before we went on the date, something I really enjoy doing. He talked about himself the entire phone call, mostly about his soon-to-be-ex-wife and daughter.
The fact that I actually went out on a date with him after that call is pretty philanthropic on my part. We began texting but then things just faded. I felt as though this was just another idiot who wanted a pen pal so I just stopped replying. Also, I now have a superstition that it might be bad luck to save their numbers. I quickly and honestly told him I never saved his number in the first place. The truth hurts, am I right? So Rhett and I reconnected and he not only chose the date and time of the date but he chose the location.
That is the ultimate trifecta. First date was going well, I was killing it with the trivia and we were having decent conversation. Rhett was cute. Ex-Air Force, works with heavy machinery, knows how to drill hole in concrete - all the pre-reqs. The main issue was all his baggage. Another grown man laying in bed at night next to his middle school trophy collection - such a turn on…. Fast foward to the end of date number one and we won second place in trivia and got a free gift certificate to come back to the restaurant!
No one is perfect. He texted me that night and told me he had a great time and that I was beautiful. That date was on a Thursday.
On Sunday we went to a different bar to have lunch and watch football. Once again, it was a fine time. I was bored when I was with him. That date ended in my car with another hook up. Rhett had his moments, for sure. After that date, Rhett asked me to hang out a few more times - to go bowling, to go to New Hampshire with him for a day to get a car part he needed - but I always blew him off.
After Christmas, I texted him and told him that I think we should just call it what it is and just move on. I told him the usual about thinking he was nice and blah blah blah thinking he would just say he agreed and that would be that. Rhett put up a fight! He wrote an entire paragraph that I wished I screenshotted! I promise to be better about this!
And I knew that was the plan in his mind and I confronted him about that during this conversation and how we were looking for two different things. He said yes, he would love to hook up again, but that is not his goal - he was looking for a relationship, just as I was. I wanted to do something different. So days after that convo, I did what any girl would do - I asked him what he was doing for the big ball drop. I really am a woman of my word, huh? December 31st rolls around and Rhett got exactly what he wanted - date number three at my house!
I just wanted a new years kiss, maybe a cuddle, and a good time on my couch eating charcuterie. He brought fire wood, fruit salad, and champagne and I got us some snacks. When I was giving him a tour of my place he even fixed my closet door. As he was building the fire in my fireplace, a thought crossed my mind: Maybe I should give Rhett a chance, maybe he has potential.
As the evening went on, we had nothing to talk about. I was double fisting white claws just to try and have some excitement while we looked for something to watch on tv for over an hour. Midnight comes and we watch the ball drop and toast our champagne.
As I await the moment when he leans in to kiss me, he grabs for his phone instead and texts his daughter and whoever else. UM WHAT IS GOING ON? Everyone on tv in Times Square is kissing and I am watching Rhett stare at his phone. What kind of sick joke is this? Three minutes later he grabs me and starts to kiss me. I push him away and tell him he is 3 minutes too late. I let it slide and we started hooking up. This may come as a shock to you - but Rhett was pushing for sex. I told him no.
I know I know - these blogs have changed! I used to love the chase and the wild nights but now I have no desire to give it up to guys I really have no interest in. What happened to me? I ask him to explain and he says he has had sex with TWELVE different women since his separation in June.
That is 12 women in 6 months. My jaw dropped. I immediately told him that he needs to go get tested. I asked when he most recently had sex and he said the week prior. What in the world?! I questioned him as to why he was there with me. I told him we were looking for different things and I tried ending it last week. I asked how many women there were. He said just one - April. ONLY ONE? I AM NOT EVEN INCLUDED IN THE COUNT? UGH SHE CAN HAVE YOU!!!!!! He meant in addition. Then he began talking about his ex wife and his daughter.
And how they met and what happened in and moving and getting married and THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT and before I knew it I was laughing to myself, eating crackers with my mouth open to drown out his voice. Of course this is how I spend my new year - it is almost predictable! I am LOLing to myself as we speak. He says yes and I started packing up his fruit salad.
The best part about this night is that beforehand I told all my friends this was going to be the last time I ever saw Rhett. I started with a vision for the year. Doing what I want to do. Being picky. Not wasting time on the wrong guys. No more bullshit. As I mentioned last month, I got off the apps for the month in hopes to meet someone naturally. so I am right back on the apps and already have some great stories.
Stay tuned! Next up in the three date saga is Date 2. We will refer to him as JC. JC and I matched on hinge. He was super cute lacrosse player, sexy but his photos seemed like they were taken from different time periods. While usually a red flag, I messaged him and we started chatting right away on a Saturday morning.
Right off the bat, he asked if I wanted to go out to breakfast. Through more chatting we realized how much we had in common and our banter was really easy and enjoyable. He was also really cute! What could go wrong?? We texted the next few days and made plans for a Thursday night at 7 to grab drinks at a restaurant we had both never been to. I was talking to multiple other guys but I was always most excited when JC and I were texting.
We had a similar style of humor and he always said goodnight once we were finished texting - something I love when guys do! We both expressed how much we were looking forward to meeting something I normally never admit each other so I was pretty excited for Thursday night. JC texted that he went inside the restaurant because it was too cold outside and I was still parking around the block.
When I walked in the restaurant, my heart was pounding out my chest because a I saw some people I knew there and that instantly made me nervous, and b because he said he was at the bar but the only two people at the bar were a guy and a girl sitting right next to one another. Was I being catfishes into a threesome? Did they want me as a sister wife? What was happening?!?! Luckily, my friends informed me that there was ANOTHER section to the restaurant with another entrance thank god so I went down there to find him.
There he was, sitting alone, at the bar, in a dimly lit and very empty part of the restaurant. I was feeling faint and probably stuttering. I play it SO cool, you guys. I told him that there was another bar in a different part of the restaurant that was much more crowded and had a better vibe so we walked over there together and sat at the bar. We both ordered drinks and immediately started talking. He was asking ME questions!
YES, ME! He asked me about my job and was making eye contact while asking follow up questions. It was pretty surreal. We started discussing fantasy football and he handed me his phone and let me make changes to his rosters and his bench for both of his teams.
I was in my element. I was turned on by this man AND we were hitting it off having a good time. Am I being punked?
Okay maybe I went a little too far there, but things just seemed too good to be true. He had this spark in his eye and we were laughing so much and it was just.. Was the hunger kicking in? Was I hallucinating? We were having so much fun, why are we leaving? We walk out and he hugs me and says he had a fun time and then asks if I want him to walk me to my car. He sort of hesitated when he asked so I said no, getting the feeling that he would but that he would rather not. I just got a weird vibe.
I said no thanks and we said goodbye. No mention of seeing each other again, no asking of me to text him when I got home. I ran over to my friends table once I saw him turn the corner and slumped over. I told them how amazing the date was but how I had a suspicion I would never see him again. When I got home I texted a single guy friend of mine who is also actively dating on the apps. He told me to text JC and say I had a good time.
I did what he said and JC replied, saying he also had a great time and that he was going to bed and asked me to text him in the morning.
Not a great sign. The next night Friday I was at happy hour with one of my friends and she urged me to text him and invite him out. He replied right away and said he would love to but he was up north having dinner with his dad and his sister. He even sent some photos. Okay, fair. As the days went on, JC proved me wrong.
He initiated texting, he would ask me questions about how my day was, what I was watching on tv, etc. He was basically just as chatty as before the date.
I thought maybe there was a chance for a second date. It was his turn. A few days later, it finally happened while we were discussing football.
I was SO EXCITED! But what about that statement about not being sure what he has going on? The discussion of friends got brought up because he was commenting on the fact that I am always out and about with my friends. Could it be work? He was super busy and always traveling around for his job.
I figured I would find out once the day got closer. The Thursday that JC proposed plans for was a few days away and we chatted as usual in those next few days.
On Wednesday night I figured I would check in since his initial text was so vague. Oddly enough, we were both headed to Houston just a few days shy of one another. Time was of the essence. We needed to hang out before I went away because once I got back he was leaving and then it was a holiday and then I was going away again - by the time we coordinated way too much time would have gone by and HE WOULD FORGET ABOUT ME OR MEET SOMEONE NEW, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
SO VAGUE! Why is he unsure if he has plans again? Why did he change the subject? Why did he ask me to hang out in the first place if he was going to be non-committal? Why did I have to ask HIM?
The options on the apps have gotten so much worse. I even got desperate and joined eHarmony. There have been some odd dates, some possibilities, and more red flags than I know what to do with. Then there was the dude who wore a short sleeved hoodie to the first date where do they sell those? and then texted me after to ask if I noticed how nervous he was. Things are just bleak.
But for how much I pay for this website domain, I either need to keep blogging or shut it all down. As always, guest features are welcome! Let me know if you are interested by emailing me at condomsandpepperspray gmail. I would love to have you share your nightmares, too! For now, I will start writing the blog about a story that starts off exciting and optimistic and takes a dramatic turn as they all do!
Spring is around the corner, time to stop hibernating and get out on these dates! More to come - thanks for sticking with me! Especially since I started writing it the night it happened. A few days after I wrote the last blog about Raymond, I decided to add him on instagram. He accepted and followed back. He even liked two of my posts immediately. I DMed him and we chatted a little back and forth. It was perfect timing syncing up again since a day or so later, I was out for happy hour with a friend near where he lives.
A margarita and half in, I decided I was NOT going home that night. Tequila gave me the courage I needed to text that flaky asshole and see if he was around. Not shocking at all, he replied right away. He had a hockey game in about an hour and would text me afterwards. Unsure if that would actually happen, I headed to another bar where my friend poured me a few more very strong margaritas and I waited impatiently for the text. Well what do you know! He did text after his game and invited me right over.
My goal of not going home was becoming a reality and I hopped in the car giddy to finally be hooking up with this guy. So many times we had been on the brink of hanging out or hooking up and it never happened. FINALLY it was happening! The question was - would it be what I thought it would be or would it be a total flop? I got to his house and he looked so good.
Even better after 4 margaritas. The house was still pretty bare except for the couch I had given him. Who would have thought! We had a little small talk, and then he leaned over and kissed me. All in all, it was…underwhelming. Apparently while things were hot and heavy, Raymond had spilled a glass of water right on top of my strewn about clothes! I sat there naked as we talked about cryptocurrency while I shook my clothes out every few minutes hoping they would dry out.
Suddenly my buzz was all the way gone and I was ready to go home and sleep in my own bed. And I am fully okay with that. Is anything ever as good as we dream it up be? As far as other dates, there have been a few. Most recently, I thought I had found a normal, mature, decent guy. Stupid me! Those types are only in the movies!
He was communicative, respectful, smart, and we had a great make out after each date. He would text right after the date and text me first thing in the morning. Things just seemed to be going really well…and then it fizzled. Suddenly he had some family matters to deal with and that was that.
But there are always more men to swipe on - so that is what I have been doing. Another date full of red flags was with a dentist.
He nervously laughed the entire time, even when I was saying things that were serious and not funny at all. He refused to eat and and just kept drinking and laughing, drinking and laughing. To top it all off, he said he was going to get a room in the area for the night! I laughed right in his face and then we got the check.
No free invisalign for me! On to the next. I have a date on Wednesday - we shall see! Merry Christmas! I have been meaning to post this blog for SOOOOO LONG! Here it is! Well, I just got home from a date. I wanted to go out to dinner. That sounded like a terrible idea after a long day of work so we compromised and went out to dinner. The date was terrible. Wow, cool stories. Then the bill came. He made me split the bill. Take a minute and think that over.
I promised a lot of stories in my last blog. We are currently three stories behind. They all are entangled with one another but one of them has had some recent updates. I met a guy named Raymour not his real name, but you will see why I named him Raymour later in the story on Bumble. We made a date for a Saturday but during the week leading up to that we were texting which we rarely did , and he mentioned his work was in the town I lived in.
I had been having a crazy busy day and asked him if he wanted to grab a drink for happy hour around the corner, close to my house and his work. Sounded good to me so I met him at a restaurant 5 minutes from my house. I sat down first and waited for him to show up. When he walked in and sat down, I was a little taken aback.
He was really, extremely, good looking. We started talking and we had such a great connection, so rare on these dates where the conversation is stagnant and boring. He was in a hockey mens league and did a lot with his brothers and group of friends. He was an outgoing social guy, which I LOVE AND NEED, and enjoyed getting out and doing things. We talked about our common interests of fantasy football and working out, which was great - especially during Covid when we were all gaining a few too many sourdough-in-quarantine pounds.
The fantasy football convo was very exciting for him - he loved how much I was into it. I do find it attractive when men are knowledgable about sports - I think it is such a manly representation and I do love a manly man. We found out we had even more in common when he mentioned something very close to home, which not many people our age have experienced.
It made me feel so much more connected to him. I mean both are great points and I totally agree and I ask myself EVERY DAY how I have slipped through the cracks for so long. Like will that be the quote that gets printed on the napkins at the rehearsal dinner? Is that the story I will tell over and over for years to come?
and THEN he said, Cheers to timing! Can you believe that.. the rest is obviously history… babe come over here, I just told the story of our first date! We wrapped things up so he could head to his brothers and I practically floated to my car. I went home and called one of my friends.
I told her all about it and wondered if I would ever see this guy again. Just as we were talking he texted and asked what I was up to:. Guys - you have read the blog posts, it is never this easy. The conversations never flow the way this one did, the guy rarely texts that night - and if he does, he never asks right away to go out again.
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Men, in futile attempts to break these barriers, use their own primitive arsenal. I play it SO cool, you guys. He confirmed my suspicions and in a few months I would reach out when it was time for him to pick up the furniture. As I mentioned last month, I got off the apps for the month in hopes to meet someone naturally. For eons people have been meeting without the assistance of their phone. We had a similar style of humor and he always said goodnight once we were finished texting - something I love when guys do! Maybe I look in the mirror everyday and find things I want to change.Hey guys! The end of the date was sparse of conversation and we really ran out of things to say. I followed up a day later with about 25 middle finger online dating condoms. No response, online dating condoms. By now, I think we all have some sort of a covid connection. None of it made any sense, but when does it?